Showing posts from October, 2020

How to encourage frienship in childhood? and the psychology behind it.

How to encourage friendship in childhood? & the psychology behind it.   All of us need friendship in our life. Why do we want to form bonds? Let us start over an analysis of the Psychology behind making friends.   Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a motivational theory in psychology comprising a five-level model of human needs, by Psychologist Abraham Maslow in 1943.   The primary need of every individual is  1.     physiological (need for water, food, and sex) and 2.     safety needs (the desire of humans for shelter & security) .Once it has been fulfilled, comes  3.     Love and belongingness needs  4.     self-esteem needs (self-respect, status & recognition) and  5.     Self-actualization (to be fully alive and to find meaning in life).    Love and belongingness , is a social need and involves interpersonal relationships. This motivates behavior to form friendship, intimacy, trust, acceptance, receiving and giving affection and love.   Th


Identity formation, is the development of the distinct personality of an individual  in which individual characteristics are  formed and  the person is recognized as a unique individual.  The question, "Who am I?" is pertinent during adolescence and this process defines the individual to others and themselves. Identity formation, begins in childhood  and gains importance during adolescence. . Faced with physical growth, sexual maturation, and career choices, adolescents must accomplish the task of integrating their prior experiences and characteristics into a stable identity. Psychologist Erikson coined the phrase ‘identity crisis’ to describe the temporary instability and confusion adolescents experience as they struggle with alternatives and choices. To cope with the uncertainties of this stage, adolescents may over identify with heroes and mentors, fall in love, and bond together in cliques. . Friendships play a major role in the lives of adolescents. A circle of

Causes of aggression in children

My experience with aggressive kids: Me as a student counsellor, had opportunities to work with children from different spheres of life. I have been a consultant at both government and private  schools. I'm sharing few of my experiences to create awareness on what causes aggression in children. I had worked with Riya (name changed), a 14yr old student from a convent, who was sent to me for complaints of being hostile to teachers & students. She showed her anger by not bringing books to school, not completing homework & back answering teachers. She would not talk to other classmates & used to give rude replies to them. Working with Riya had given me lot of learning. I tried to analyse during my counseling  sessions on  why she behaved this way in school. Riya had an unhappy home environment. Riya's father was alcoholic & was physically abusive. He would beat up Riya,  her mother &  other siblings. He had an extra-marital affair & used to refrain himsel


Exam anxiety, a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about performance outcome, before board exams is absolutely normal. Some anxiety is necessary for an optimum performance and it can be handled & managed in effective ways. Here are some suggestions to students preparing for board exams: 1. Make a study plan, include short breaks (tea/snack break) & refreshments    (chat or play games) in it. Motivate yourself to follow through. If you were able to stick to your plan for a couple of days, treat yourself with extra refreshment time on the third day. 2. Wake up with determination to follow through your plan for the day. Give positive statements to yourself like 'Today is a good day, & I am going to make best use of it'. A positive change in the way you think, changes your entire day. 4. Make your learning fun. You can voice record your notes, rewind & play it, as you walk to a nearby store or park. Use different coloured glitter or ske

Importance of mental health and breaking stigma

  People struggling with mental health may be in your family, live next door, work in your office, or visit the same church or temple. Only few of those affected receive treatment, often because of the stigma attached to mental health. Untreated, mental illness can contribute to other medical problems, poor performance in studies and work, quarrels in relationships and increased risk of self harm and suicide. It causes disturbances in thinking, feeling and behaviour, which makes it difficult to meet the normal functioning and demands of life. Causes of these diseases include genetics, changes in brain chemistry and structure, experiencing trauma and facing problems beyond the bearing capacity of the individual. Stigma and misinformation regarding mental health can feel like overwhelming obstacles for the one who is struggling with illness. Here are a few ways to promote mental health and break the stigma: We need to talk openly about mental health and educate people in ou