Showing posts from November, 2020

Dealing with Anxiety

Here are top helpful ways to deal with anxiety ·          Understand that anxiety is not your fault: Our system has been constantly triggered due to the pressures which the world around placed on us. The stress hormone released in our body, is keeping us in a state of fight or flight. This had developed into a state of automatic response and we developed the habit of anxiety. ·          Understanding the way you speak to yourself We need to take care of our mind, like a parent taking care of a child. Everything that we say to our mind conditions a response of either fear or love depending on our thoughts. We need to be kinder and calmer to this child. By becoming more positive, we are not becoming a new person but we are accessing a part of ourselves that is already there. It is about tapping our ‘Best self’. ·          Recreate your life story Recreate the way you speak about ‘you’ and ‘your life’ to yourself & others. This is a way to create your own life story. The w


This post is to create awareness about intense anxiety, it's effects and role of psychologist/therapist in it.  Deepthi, 18 yr old medical college student was rushed to the hospital, midnight with symptoms of chest pain, rapid heart pounding, sweating, trembling of hands and legs. She experienced tightness in the throat and chills running through her body. Her mother brought her suspecting heart-attack. She was taken to the emergency care for examination. The doctor checked her found that she was physically very normal. He spoke to her for quite some time and her symptoms reduced. He gave her a vitamin injection. He suggested the parent to take her to a psychologist and she was sent back home. Deepthi, ,had a panic attack. She had her semester examination in a week’s time and so was in too much of stress and anxiety as she had lot of subjects/syllabus to study. She was worried about her performance results. Her mother was a strict parent and was expecting a lot of marks from he

Other concerns during adolescence

Hypothetical deductive reasoning: Adolescents, thinking becomes more systematic & logical in solving problems. They think of possible courses of action, why something is happening the way it is, and seek solutions. For example a conflict arises between friends, s/he identifies the problem. and plans for the solution by evaluating the outcome. Imaginary audience: Adolescents believe that others are as preoccupied with them as they are about themselves. They imagine that people are always noticing them and are observing each & every behavior of theirs. For example a boy who has spikes, is very much cautious about his hair and a girl who uses make-up, might feel that everyone is looking at her. Personal fable: Adolescents' sense of uniqueness makes them think that no one understands them or their feelings. For example an adolescent thinks that he has a lot to study, but his parents/teachers don't empathize with her/him nor understand her/his difficulties. To ret

understanding more of adolescence

Cognitive developmental changes in adolescence: Idealistic thinking: An ‘ideal’ is a person or thing conforming to a standard of perfection & excellence and taken as a model for imitation. Adolescents think about ideal characteristics for themselves and others and compare themselves & others with these ideal standards. For example, they may think what an ideal parent is like and compare their parents with these ideal standards. A teenager in admiration of a film star idealizes her/his image, imagining them to have a perfect life, to be kind and thoughtful, and so on. They ignore the star's flaws. They can imagine an ideal world and think about alternative systems of political, religious, family, and moral organization. The disparities between the idealism of adolescents and the "real world" concerns of adults increase tension between many teenagers and their parents. Abstract thinking: Abstract means ‘ existing in thought or as an idea but not havi

Helping children deal with peer pressure:

Here are a few incidents were I helped kids deal with peer pressure: I worked with an 8yr old child, from a reputed school who was referred to me for counselling, for stealing 'pens' from fellow classmates. When he narrated this incident to me I found that he had done this due to fear of being rejected by his friends. The child's friends had a competition among themselves of who could collect maximum number of 'pens' from school. He didn't want to indulge in this act in the beginning, as picking was against his value system but he yielded later due to his friends. He got caught during the act of picking. I taught the child that he had to respect himself by sticking to his value system. I taught him assertive ways of communicating, when people ask him to do something which he doesn't approve of. I told him that its ok to lose friends than to indulge in wrong behaviour and there are many others who will accept him for who he is. I suggested his parents t

Why do teenagers fall in love so easily? Scientific explanation.

Teenagers who come to me for counselling, often have concerns about their love relationship. I encourage them to speak about their issues and provide the necessary guidance. As a psychologist I would say falling in love, is part of healthy growing. As I discussed earlier, in my previous articles, according to Maslow’s hierarchy, after our physical and safety needs are met, individuals start looking for love & belongingness needs. We, adults need to equip ourselves with the necessary skills to deal with adolescents in love and guide them in the right track. First of all we need to understand the physiology behind falling in love. Researches show that hormonal changes, triggered by brain and body developments are responsible for the intense feelings of sexual attraction and falling in love. Testosterone and oestrogen – male and female sex hormones – are associated with heightened sexual urges, while the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are implicated in attachment and bonding.  Du