Why ditch your partner???😟😓😖

Sam & Niru were in love with each other. Niru was a college student & Sam was holding a corporate job. Niru was the first to propose Sam & was deeply in love with him. She would share every trivial details of the day with Sam. She many times told Sam that she looked for her mother in Sam & was successful in finding true love in every encounter with him.

Sam's love was never less. He would go out of his way to do anything for Niru. There was an excellent romantic chemistry in their relationship.

Days went on Niru went through lot of tough times due to family disputes. Niru's father was no more. Her mother was illiterate & quite old. Niru was left at the mercy of her elder brother. Her family faced unresolved property disputes & financial constraints.

Sam was there with her & reassured her at every struggle that things will get better soon. Sam started supporting Niru in all ways he could be it moral, emotional or financial. He motivated Niru to write TNPSC exams. He paid Niru's college fees, bought books & study material for her. Every now & then he bought her energy boosting food stuff, branded clothes and cosmetics. He had also helped Niru to pay her family lawyer to fight their legal property case. He did all this to say Niru that he was there for her to rely on at any situation.

He urged her to speak about their love to her family. Every time Niru said that it was not the right time to speak about their relationship. She didn't introduce Sam to her family, as she feared her brother.

In the meanwhile Sam focussed on his career & wanted to settle down fast, to marry Niru & keep her happy. He had also spoken to his family about their love. Sam's parents were reluctant in the beginning but later understood their son's true love & started accepting Niru.

Niru was in her final year. Everything went on fine until that one tragic day. Niru said Sam that her mother was pressuring her to get married & her brother had looked for a groom. She said that she was confused over it & didn't know what to do.

Her confusion led to Niru avoiding Sam. Slowly she cut down on phone calls & entertained only whatsapp msgs. That too she responded only at times. Sam was extremely annoyed & insisted Niru to speak about their love at home & incase they dont agree he said they both can decide on their marriage.

Niru was stubborn she didn't speak at home. Sam thought that Niru didnt have guts to speak to her family & he needs to do something about it to work out their relationship. So Sam spoke to Niru's brother without her consent.

Niru's brother was not bad as she portrayed. He was a gentle man. He took time to listen to Sam & told him that he was impressed with him & he doesn't have any objection in getting Niru married to him.

Sam was at the top of the World he was extremely happy. He wanted to share his happiness with Niru. He could not wait to meet her & say this. He called her & conveyed it over phone. Then came the real shock. Niru was unhappy listening to Sam. She inturn verbally abused him for speaking to her brother without her consent. She gave a strong statement 'Unnai thirumanam seyye yenakku udanpadu illai' (I am not willing to marry you).

Sam couldñ't understand what went wrong with her. He had so many questions in mind. He shed tears & asked her not to do this cruelty to him. He pleaded to meet her one last time but she refused. He spoke to her brother again.

Her brother too spoke to Niru on Sam's behalf. Niru told her brother that she considered Sam only as a friend & moreover he was like a father figure to her. ' Avanai thirumanam seyya yenakku udanpadu illai'( I am not willing to marry him). Sam persistently made efforts to find what went wrong between them, & made attempts to speak to her. She constantly gave just this reply 'unnai thirumanam seyya yenakku udanpadu illai'( I am not willing to marry you).

She further threatened him saying that she would file a police complaint against him if he made calls to her or her family members in regard to her 'personal life'(now).

I was perplexed listening to this story. Sam went into severe depression & alcohol addiction after all these happenings in his life. He got admitted in a psychiatric hospital for treatment.

I can't be judgemental about Niru. I have not heard her version of the story.

But still from whatever Sam narrated I could understand that he had so much of love, care & trust on Niru. I really don't know how many of us are so dedicated to our girlfriend/ boyfriend. Whatever be the reason Niru could have atleast met him & spoke to him, instead of breaking a 3yr old relationship over phone.

If Niru didn't want to marry him for whatever reason, at least she could have given response to the money he spent on her or spoken to him to return it even in instalments.

Niru shouldn't have portrayed her brother in a different way & tell Sam that her family pressurized her to marry a guy of their choice. Niru & Sam had been in a romantic relationship for 3yrs, but she told her brother that Sam was only her friend & was like a father to her. For whatever reasons if she had decided to not marry Sam she could have been honest in her communication.

It was a deed of mistrust. Why play with the emotions of the other person? What message is it conveying to the society???

Sam will hopefully recover in a few weeks. He is undergoing alcohol detox treatment. He is also put on anti- depressant medications, & is counselled regularly.

(Names of characters & many other details are changed to safeguard identity)

Swathi Priya. P

Counselling Psychologist


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