Psychologist at work

Most of you who have adolescent kids, might get shocked when you know that your child is in love, as you least expected it. But you should accept the fact that your child is growing. My strong request to parents is, kindly don’t frighten your child by crying to her/him or to other family members, thinking that s/he has done something very wrong or put the family prestige down. Don’t embarrass your child by sharing about her/his love to your neighbor or relatives and asking them to advice her/him. There are chances for them to talk ill about the child behind your back. Don’t talk irrelevant stuff like ‘I have spent so much on your education & daily expenses, but you have put me down by falling in love’. You might end up making the child feel guilty. Don’t follow them on social media.   Don’t mess-up things by fighting with the other child/child’s parents (with whom your child is in love with). Don’t threaten or blackmail the child by saying statements like ‘I will kill mys...

In my counselling practice past 10yrs, I have seen a number of children who are victims of child abuse from different strata.  Children with sexual abuse don't come to the counsellor & start off with the abuse they underwent, but speak about other things like conflicts with friends or issues with family members/ teachers so on.They open up about the abuse a few sessions later after they gain the trust of the counsellor. I would like to share experiences which impacted me deeply. Ritu (name changed)11yrs old was a 7th std student in a Matriculation School. She was behind me most of the time discussing quarrels with her classmates. Though we found solutions together to work on her issues, she was not satisfied. During our 5th session, she spoke about the trauma she went through for years. Ritu's dad was a photographer for a political party. He had his office downstairs to their house. From her early childhood Ritu was subjected to sexual abuse by multiple people who used to ...

Why would adults sexually abuse a child? Victims of sexual abuse at times tend to become abusers themselves because i t feels familiar to them. F eelings of  shame  and  anger , which naturally happen as a consequence of the abuse, can become mixed up with sexual feelings, leading to confusion in the person who experienced the abuse. They make  an attempt to heal  By becoming an abuser, and  try to undo the abuse by taking the opposite, seemingly more powerful, position.  They feel difficult to enter a mutually loving, respectful relationship. Abusers are not only victims of sexual abuse but also physical & emotional abuse. In reaction to experiences of abuse, neglect, betrayal and powerlessness, they may have attempted to find feelings of power and control over others – including sexual power over children. In some cases child sexual abuse is caused by the abuser, during a particular stressful time, like the loss of a marriage or job, bankr...

May 24th is celebrated as world Schizophrenia day. The word Schizophrenia is derived from Greek 'Schiz' meaning split & 'phrenia' meaning mind.  'Schizophrenia is a chronic and severe mental disorder that affects how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. People with schizophrenia may seem like they have lost touch with reality. Although schizophrenia is not as common as other mental disorders, the symptoms can be very disabling.'- NIMH A few case examples are as follows: 'Prasad' (name changed),35yr old, bank employee, yelled at nights, as he everyday saw a group of black dressed masked goons approaching him, he was frightened hearing their terrific voices & big footsteps. This was very disturbing to his wife all night, as she could see nor hear them. She blamed him for imagining things & disturbing everyone's sleep at home. Prasad started isolating himself at home & office. He stopped expressing himself. He stopped en...

On a day to day basis all of us face lot of difficulties & problems which we are not able to share or discuss with people around us.  We don't know how trusted our relative or colleague is. How effectively they can guide us is again a question. So here comes the need for seeking professional psychological help. We need to meet a Psychologist/Counsellor. A qualified Psychologist/ Counsellor has masters in Psychology & is well trained in providing counselling, guidance & psychotherapy. The first ethic in counselling is maintaining confidentiality & safe guarding identity of the person seeking help. What sort of issues does a Psychologist/ Counsellor deal with? In schools & Colleges: * Emotionally unhappy children from a very young age start displaying behavioural & academic problems. This might be due to struggles in basic foundation i.e their family. Their parents might be going through marital disharmony or separation or even death of spouse, whi...

Why ditch your partner??? 😟😓😖 Sam & Niru were in love with each other. Niru was a college student & Sam was holding a corporate job. Niru was the first to propose Sam & was deeply in love with him. She would share every trivial details of the day with Sam. She many times told Sam that she looked for her mother in Sam & was successful in finding true love in every encounter with him. Sam's love was never less. He would go out of his way to do anything for Niru. There was an excellent romantic chemistry in their relationship. Days went on Niru went through lot of tough times due to family disputes. Niru's father was no more. Her mother was illiterate & quite old. Niru was left at the mercy of her elder brother. Her family faced unresolved property disputes & financial constraints. Sam was there with her & reassured her at every struggle that things will get better soon. Sam started supporting Niru in all ways he could be it moral, emoti...

Friends I am not against any God nor any particular Religion. I am unaware of the fact if astrology is true or not. But my concern & worry is about people who fall a prey to superstitions, myths & astrologers and suffer emotionally. Sunitha, was my childhood friend & my neighbour. We were classmates too. I recollect the happy days we spent playing at each other’s home. Sunitha's family strongly believed in astrology & had a family astrologer whom they used to consult for every trivial thing. One day Sunitha's mom picked her up from school, on permission. I didnt know why Sunitha left half day from school. After I got back from school I saw Sunitha' s mom crying to my mom & my mom trying to console her. It seems their family astrologer had said that Sunitha will not live very long because of the rays of ' Sani Bagavan' (Saturn) in her horoscope & her 'ayul rekkai' (life line) in her palm was insufficient. As per the guidance...